Sherlock Holmes

Odd Cast, Awesome Movie

When I first got wind of this movie's cast, I was skeptical, like most Americans. I mean, Robert Downy Jr. as Holmes was surprise enough, but Jude Law as Dr. Watson? That got me thinking. I wasn't sure that turning Watson into a sex symbol was a good idea. I was wrong.

This movie was well cast, well written, well acted, well shot and in short, well everything. The special effects were great and the leads, Downy Jr and Law were great. Rachel McAdams was wonderfully cast in her role as Ms. Adler, the only woman capable of capturing Holmes's heart. Mark Strong was good too, as the villain, Lord Blackwood. This is one movie that truly has it all, action, romance, frightening moments, and just about everything else. Mark my words, this movie will have you out of your seat giving Holmes and Watson a standing ovation as the end credits roll. Not sure if this movie qualifies as action, drama or something else, but whatever genre it is, its great. This is one movie that should not be missed by anyone.

5 Stars

Norbit

Pure Cinematic Garbage

Hollywood has turned out so many pieces of trash over the years I won't even bother to list them all. I don't like to review bad movies but I just have to warn anyone thinking about watching this cinematic abortion..DON'T. Simply put, Norbit is the worst movie ever made.

This movie doesn't have a witty line of dialogue in it. Its gross, irreverent, offensive, and beyond crass. Eddie Murphy really should only play one role per movie. The story tells of a nice guy (title character) who through a messed up childhood and a string of unfortunate events ends up married to a disgusting, vile woman known as Rasputia (also played by Murphy). She is obese, arrogant, and cruel, not to mention controlling. Norbit wants nothing more than to ditch his repulsive spouse who he does not love, but Resputia is backed by her three older brothers, Big Terry, Earl, and Mac, who are all large, violent, and cruel. Knowing her husband is powerless against her, Resputia treats Norbit horribly. He is miserable enough, but when his beautiful former crush moves back into town (played by Thadia Newton) Norbit's world threatens to explode. There's more to the plot, but frankly its just not worth discussing.

Just how fat is Resputia? When she and Norbit visit a water park she has to lift up her stomach to show she's wearing bottoms. If that's your kind of humor, Norbit is hilarious. If not, stay away. This is the only movie I've seen that truly ears a negative number of stars. Save your money and watch something else.

-5 Stars

The King's Speech

Don't Be Deceived by Trailers...

Being a teenager, I didn't expect to enjoy this movie. I was, however, very pleasantly surprised. This tale of King George VI (Collin Firth) focuses on his embarrassing speech impediment and stutter. It has always been a problem for George or "Bertie" as he is known to his family and close friends, but when suddenly forced upon the throne, he is told he must address all his subjects with a live radio broadcast. Afraid, and unsure of himself, George feels lost until his wife arranges for him to see unusual speech therapist Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush). Logue's unorthodox methods confuse and anger George at first, but he soon comes to accept the man and his odd ways. Logue eventually forces a strong, everlasting friendship with George that serves him and his country well. England is on the brink of World War II when George takes the throne. This movie was well written, well acted, and well directed. It also had a fresh, original plot which was fantastic considering how many film makers have fallen asleep at the wheel as of late. This is a movie anyone, mature teens and up can enjoy. Just give it a try - King George VI will steal your heart and leave you cheering.

4 Stars

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Of All the Cinematic Disappoints....

Ok, this was far and away the worst movie I have seen in a long time. Being a slacker and a struggling, young musician myself, I tried hard to get into this movie - nothing worked.

A young musician who barely graduated high school is living with a gay roommate, and dating an geeky girl from a strict catholic high school (yes, she's still in high school so their relationship is illegal) when he's dragged my his band mates to a party where he meets a strange girl with pink hair who he'd dreamed about the night before. She makes it clear very quickly that she couldn't be less interested in him but for some reason he remains on her trail until she agrees to go out with him. They sort of hit it off, but what she doesn't tell him is that she has seven evil ex-boyfriends, all of whom have superpowers and that's where our story begins. Scott discovers that to win Ramona (thats the girl's name in case you haven't already figured that out or didn't know or both) he must first battle all her ex-boyfriends and win. Adding to the mix is Scott's gorges ex-girlfriend who has hit the big time since her breakup with Scott and who's guitarist happens to be one of Ramona's evil ex-boyfriends. Scott is faced with seven grim battles that he must fight and win to win the girl of his dreams. This was just a badly written movie with way too many special effects. Don't bother seeing it. Some graphic novels should just stay on paper.

2 Stars

Social Distortion - Hard Times and Nursery Rhymes

True - Blue Fans Will Not Be Disappointed

Social Distortion never ceases to amaze me.

As a long time fan I was pumped when I heard Social D was putting together a new album. I bought it the day it came out and upon hearing the first two songs was not disappointed. It's a solid album with ten solid songs - nothing that compares to "Sick Boys," or "Born to Lose" but its good stuff. Be warned though, the sound is different (different meaning bluesy and slower than their earlier albums.) Mike Ness experimented with the blues years ago on "Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell" with "Bad Luck" and now he seems to be using that style on a whole album. His voice is still buried behind the mic but if you don't mind that you won't mind this album. The top songs would have to be "Machine Gun Blues," "Alone and Forsaken," and "California (Hustle and Flow)" which for some reason unclear to me was offered on iTunes as the free "single of the week" the week of the album's release. Seems strange but hey, when Owl City's "Fireflies" was first released on iTunes it was also the "Single of the Week" and a few weeks later it was number one on the charts. God knows I hate Owl City but I love Social Distortion. Give this album a spin.

4 1/2 Stars

Linkin Park - A Thousand Suns

Some good stuff, but an overall disappointment to the fans of old..

Linkin Park Timeline -

200 - Release of Hybrid Theory: Linkin Park bursts onto the scene and delivers awesome songs such as "Papercut," "One Step Closer," and "In the End."

2002 - Linkin Park remixes Hybrid Theory and titles it "Reanimation." Different, but still some solid music.

2003 - Linkin Park tops their debut album with the release of "Meteora" featuring songs such as "Hit the Floor," "Breaking the Habit," and "Nobody's Listening."

2004 - Linkin Park teams up with Rapper Jay-Z and produces "Collision Course" six wonderful collaborations. 

2007 - Linkin Park releases Minutes to Midnight featuring awesome new rap type songs such as "Bleed it Out," and "Hands Held High." Though some hardcore fans were unhappy with the new styles, it was still a solid album.

2010 - Linkin Park sells out and releases "A Thousand Suns" a disappointment of an album full of techno such as "The Requiem," and "Fallout." Another great band selling out to what is popular just to sell more albums.

Just another great band selling out...first the Black Eyed Peas and Now Linkin Park..who's next? Can't wait to the next from Escape the Fate or We Came as Romans. All we can do is hope that all the bands who have yet to sell out stay true to who they really are when their writing their next album.

1 1/2 Stars

Vampires Suck

Vampires Suck and So Does This Movie

The title explains it all - Another cheap spoof from the idiots who brought us "Disaster Movie," "Epic Movie," and several other cinematic abortions comes "Vampires Suck" from the guys who couldn't sit through another vampire movie. I myself couldn't sit through another vampire movie but due to countless ravings from friends (both good and bad) I just had to give it a try. I didn't think I could find another movie that could possibly make any part of the Twilight saga look good but this movie proved me wrong. It follows more of less the same story line but in this case, following the Twilight storyline is not typically a good thing. This was a movie that couldn't even make me laugh.

I won't bother summarizing the plot since I'm sure your all familiar with the oh so popular series - girl moves to small town, falls for pale guy who turns out to be a vampire..bla, bla, bla...point is avoid this movie at all costs. This was two hours of my life I'm never going to get back.

1 Star